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Allow me to explain a few things ... - The Wicked Wench

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February 10th, 2007

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01:07 am - Allow me to explain a few things ...

I'm unlocking this post because I think some men might learn a thing a two from it ... then again, I sure the Stalker Cunt will now get a MySpace profile and try to suck up to the people that I have as friends there ... one day she might face the reality that she can't be me. Anyway, let's discuss some popular websites...

For those not in the know, I have a MySpace account and I've recently enrolled in Match.com and their sister site, Chemistry. I have a few tips for men trying to connect with women on these sites:

1) For those on MySpace ... when you email someone they usually click on your profile. When a mouse click or two later you are led to a friends page that consist of 200+ playmate wanna-bees, it make this girl add you to the deleted file. Your email had many flattering statements about my pictures ... did you notice I didn't need to show my nakkid breasts or stage a seductive pose? I know you dug below the surface because you commented on things buried within my profile, but you still won't get a response due your friend's list. If you want to see breast that bad go to a strip club or hire a hooker. I can recommend one named Anita.

2) If you want me to respond to your email consisting of three words, you better have the profile to back it up. Two sentences with no pictures is not going to give me any information to peak my interest.

3) If your opening email requests more risque photos I can guaran-fuckin-tee you that you will NOT be hearing from me. Does anyone really answer those emails?

4) It clearly states on my profile that I live in Northern Virginia ... if you live more than 50 miles away (and that is pushing it) WHY would you bother to respond? Honestly, I'm not interested in dating anyone in Arizona.

5) BE A MAN!! Don't be so paralyzed by strong, independent women. As I told my last relationship, "I'll love you, I'll want you, but I'll NEVER need you." It isn't in my nature.

6) My profile lists my salary range, and clearly states the salary range I find acceptable to date. I'm not being elistist, I'm being practical ... I hang in places you can't afford if you make less than 25k and I'm not lookin' to support anyone, I don't care how creative you are.

7) PHOTOS. Just as you are not going to respond to a profile without a picture (I know this from looking at your friend's page) I am NOT going to respond to a profile with zero information and no pictures .. Hell, lets be honest, George Clooney could write a profile but I'm still not going to respond without a photo. I'm looking for a prince, not a toad.

8) Do you honestly think I'm going to meet you for a drink if you don't even give me a name? "M" is not a name. You don't even list where you live. My first thought is you are a murderer looking for a victim. Yeah, I can see it now ... woman killed by man she met online. The only lead investigators have is he went by the name "M." Riiiiiight!

Sorry, folks, but them there are the facts of life.

Current Music: Young Dubliners - Stop Me

(You won't believe what they said ... | You have something to say?)


Date:February 10th, 2007 01:12 pm (UTC)
Dana and I met on dc.matchmaker.com, so it can happen. :D Good luck!
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Date:February 10th, 2007 02:45 pm (UTC)
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Date:February 10th, 2007 11:05 pm (UTC)
So my e-mail to you with Hugh Jackman's photo saying "Yo, babe, call" isn't likely to meet success? Hmmm. Guess I better go put something besides the Hooters girls undress calendar pics up in my profile, huh? Aw, screw it. You sound much too feisty and independent for my tastes, anyway.

[Okay, I'm going to go waaaaay over here and hide now while I try to un-wedgie my tongue from my cheek. :-) On behalf of my gender, I apologize that there are so many jerks amongst us.]
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Date:February 11th, 2007 03:03 pm (UTC)
To add a few comments...

1.) Also regarding the photos, if you have one in there, make sure it includes your face. You may have a great six-pack, but I'm not going to make a decision based off that. This ain't high school.

2.) If my age range says 30 to 40 and you are 55, then move along please. 55 puts you at almost old enough to be my father, and I am not looking for a father figure. And do NOT try to guilt ME out by this whole, "I'm probably older than what you want..." I'm not going to date you out of pity. There are plenty of women in YOUR age category who would love to hear from you. Go make their day.

3.) Do not email that day suggesting we get together tonight. The three day rule still applies. Rare occasions (example: "I have an extra ticket to The Eagles Reunion concert tonight, do you want to go?") are one thing. Asking if I want to come to your house and watch wrestling on TV is another.

4.) If your email says, "I'm lonely and I don't have any friends" I am going to wonder why and stay far, far away from you.

5.) This one is for the MySpacers: If my profile says that I am in a relationship, that means I am in a relationship. In other words, I am not available, so if you email me saying, "I'm lonely and I don't have any friends and I'd like to date. Want to come to my house tonight and watch wrestling with me?" (Paraphrased, but that's essentially what he said) then you deserve all the mocking I can possibly give you.

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